


Social Dance

by blondebooklion



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Gen, Homophobia, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Songfic, dodie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 03:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17820782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondebooklion/pseuds/blondebooklion
Summary: Peter Parker can't help but feeling down recently. It seems his world is falling apart. He can't concentrate on anything not even being spiderman. He's sick of feeling so worthless, sick of feeling so anxious, but there is no way he is willing to bother anyone with it. Flash Thompson makes it worse. And Peter can't ask Tony Stark for help.Song: Social Dance by dodie clark





	Social Dance

_There are some who don't even need to try Born with a warm heart, a twinkle in their eye,_

 

      Peter Benjamin Parker wasn't your typical teen. That is unless the typical teen is a spider-themed vigilante superhero. But that's not the only reason. Peter was a sweet kid, bright as well. But he had trouble seeing what was special with him. He wasn't comfortable with himself. Not like other kids. Everyday he struggled to get through school. He wasn't a bad student or anything and he had friends...well two- Ned and MJ. He loved them dearly he really did but he couldn't talk to them about what's going on in his head. He just couldn't.

_Glitter in their words, perfume in their breaths Souls of sunshine and lilac pastel skies._

     They wouldn't understand. Especially not MJ. She's so confident in herself. She doesn't care what anyone thinks. She embraces every part of her; good and bad .She doesn't seem to mind why people say about her. And Ned. Ned’s great as well. He's picked on at times too, but he doesn't seem to let it effect him. Ned just rolls his eyes and shrugs it off. Even the people Peter wouldn't consider his friends particularly, but were classmates seemed to be happy with who they are.

_You will find no such shimmering in here,_

     Peter doubted that he’d ever be able to relate. His mind screams every word he saying is wrong.Every choice he makes has consequences. And people always leave.

_Oh, there's a wish for some that's shoveled down by fear._

     Peter can't help but wish things were different, that he didn't spend days light this zoning out in class letting his mind consume him.

_Am I happy or just hopeful? Confident or boastful?_

     There are moments when Peter thinks everything is going to be ok. When he's laughing with Ned building the latest and greatest lego star wars edition. When he gets an answer write during decathlon practice, and even more so when there are high stakes. Working in the lab with Tony. Dinner with May. Swinging through the streets at night and seeing the dancing city lights.

_Do people smile holding back a sneer?_

 

But then things all come crashing down.

 

_Sometimes I wish that I could be a kinder, better me for all. Sometimes I wish that I could be someone who isn't me at all._

     The bell rings to signal the end of the day. Peter feels the dread rise up through his chest. He hadn't even realized he was in class. The day was just a muddled mess in his head and he couldn't remember a single lesson. He was too lost in his on brain. There was no decathlon practice today at least he didn't think so and he didn't have his friends in his last period. But of course, luck would have it that Flash Thompson was. Peter attempted to scurry out of the classroom but he was grabbed by the shoulder his teacher.

     ”Everything alright, Mr.Parker? You seem to be having trouble focusing in my class- more so now than usual. Is anything the matter?”

_So off you go, perform your social dance_

 

     A lump formed in his throat and trying not to choke Peter just shrugged his shoulders and faked what he hoped was a convincing yawn, ” Ehm...just tired sir, that's all really, ”

His teacher glanced over him, not quite satisfied with the answer but nodded anyway, ”Get some rest then Peter, you may go, ”

_Outstretched opinions and a flexible stance,_

Peter gave him a small not so convincing grin, thanked him and was greeted in the hallway by Flash.

_Pirouette for show but never let them know That really, you're just begging for a chance._

     ”Hey Penis Parker! What was that about? You sucking him off to get a good grade?”

Peter shook his head and kept his eyes trained on the ground trying his best to ignore him. ”Didn't mommy ever tell you it's rude to ignore people? Oh right she couldn't have cause she's dead, ”

     ”Shut up, Flash, ” Peter muttered.

     An instant later Peter was pinned against the lockers, and felt a fist hit his gut, ”You have no right to speak to me like that Penis not like you've anywhere to be, ”

_Sometimes I wish that I could be a kinder, better me for all Sometimes I wish that I could be someone who isn't me at all._

Peter wanted so badly to shove him off, punch Flash in his stupid face and just have things be ok again. But he couldn't; he was just Peter Parker. Maybe Spiderman could do those things- show a bully that he couldn't pick on the innocent but right now he wasn't Spiderman he was just plain ole average Peter Parker. And Peter Parker didn't fight back. Besides right now he felt so vacant he wasn't even sure if he had it in him. He felt another punch reach his stomach and he sunk to the floor, after being kicked a few times he just laid there. Flash seemed satisfied after shouting a few more insults and left leaving Peter alone.

_Can someone please tell me how it feels: to say the perfect words, a model of appeal._

Peter slowly forced himself up. He doesn't want anyone to find him like that. It’d just warrant questions. Questions that Peter didn't want to answer. He didn't even have to look to know there were bruises already forming but he also knew due to his healing they'd be gone before he even got home. And if not he could just brush them off as a few spidermanning mishaps. Peter grabbed his phone preparing to turn on some music to clear his head but unexpectedly had a text from Happy. 5 texts from Happy. And 2 missed calls.

12:35

’Kid, Stark wants you to come to the compound afterschool.’

12:42

’All cleared with your Aunt.’

2:30

’I'm out front as usual.’

2:45

’Stop socializing I don't want to wait here all day.’

3:00

’Kid, I'm coming in.’

 

S H I T.

_Should I spill secrets inside or should I just hide? I'll never be okay to reveal._

     Peter shoved on his sweatshirt and speed walked towards the front doors typing out a text before bumping into the older man. ”Jesus Kid you had me concerned, was worried I had to tell boss his favorite little intern wasn't coming. Where were you?”

     Peter glanced around nervously refusing to make eye contact, ”Sorry I uh just got caught up talking to my teacher. I had a few questions- I guess more than a few and you know we're really not supposed to have our phones on in school so-”

     Happy just rolled his eyes and ushered him out the door, ”Look, kid, its fine don't worry about it. Get in the car, I'll let Tony know we're on our way,”

_Sometimes I wish that I could be a kinder, better me for all._

The drive felt longer than usual. Instead of chatting or doing homework like usual Peter kept his eyes glued on the slowly disappearing city skyline fidgeting with his phone but never actually turning it on. He felt Happy’s eyes glance back at him time after time and Peter’s head spiraled worrying about what he would say and how to respond but for some reason the world pitied him and the ride stayed silent. Thankfully for him, Peter was left alone with his swirling thoughts and aching stomach.

_Sometimes I wish that I could be someone who isn't me at all_

     Peter gets out of the car hoping his tears had dried enough on the drive upstate to the lab. Peter knew Tony Stark had plenty to worry about besides what is going on with silly teenager drama. It's not even a spiderman problem. It's a Peter problem. He should be able to handle it on his own. Peter takes a deep breath to recompose himself- a 4 seconds in, 7 hold, and 8 out method he’d seen somewhere on the internet. It didn't help much but he was able to regain some self control. He pushed open the door, forced a smile and walked towards Mr.Starks lab table.

     ”Hey, Pete! ”

     ”Hi Mr.Stark! What're we working on today?”

Met with a micheauvous and way too excited expression, Peter made a choice. He could put on the act a little bit longer. If it made Tony Stark grin like that it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I really hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think!


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